Passage:
I chose to focus on the sad tale of Hagar in Gen. 16 and 21.
I felt sorry for Hagar because she is at everyone’s mercy. None of her life is a result of her own decisions. She is a slave. She is an Egyptian living in Caanan, away from her people and culture. In chapter 16 she is handed over to produce offspring for Sarai and Abram- a man in love with someone else. When she becomes pregnant there is tension between the wife and “other woman”. I have to admit, that although I have friends who might, I do not identify with these kinds of problems. Finally, the pressure is too much, and Hagar flees.
Gen 16: 7 The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 8 And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”
First, I find it interesting that God over and over begins a conversation with man by asking a question. I think of Adam and Eve- God asked, “Where are you?” I think of Cain, when God asked, “Where is your brother?”. I want to be a kind of parent and friend that God is. I want to seek to understand first, and help others to understand themselves through the use of questions.
Second, I find it interesting that these questions are being asked. I believe the angel of the Lord probably knew the answer to the first question. I think, then that the questions were for Hagar’s benefit. The angel wants Hagar to think about why she is running away. To be successful, you have to know where you have come from, and where you are going. If you don’t know where you are coming from, you never deal with your past. You cannot build any kind of stable future. If you know and have dealt with your past, but have no goals or direction, obviously you will never reach them. I don’t think she knew where she was going, because she never answered the second question. She just wanted away from a terrible situation.
Then the angel gives the unfathomable command: “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” Oh, and by the way, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”
11 The angel of the LORD also said to her:
“You are now pregnant – (She already knew that.)
and you will give birth to a son. (She didn’t know that.)
You shall name him Ishmael,
for the LORD has heard of your misery.”
13 She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,”
It seems it really meant something that God identified with her. He just called it like it was. She was miserable. No sugar coating. No command to not feel that way- to be grateful, or think positive. She is not told her life will get any better. She is not told her life will be peaceful. But for some reason, knowing she has a fighting son and a God who has heard her misery is enough for now. Sometimes just knowing we are heard is all we need.
The story did indeed get worse for Hagar. Sarah decides that she doesn’t want Hagar and the boy around anymore, even though it was Sarai’s idea in the first place! Ishmael was about 14 years old now. So she is sent off- with only water! I can’t imagine anything more unfair. I can’t imagine being the only heir and then at 14 kicked out of the house because of a new “real” heir. Hagar did not ask to be a surrogate, and Ishmael did not ask to be born. But somehow they were to pay for the sins of others. So now Hagar is waiting to die- and perhaps even worse than her own death- she will experience it knowing her son is dying too. How hard it is for us mothers to endure painful experiences with our children!
15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she[c] began to sob. 17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? (another question)
Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”
19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.
20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer.
Notice God heard the boy crying in verse 17. How comforting! He can hear my children… even when I push them away because I cannot bear the pain…
I find it interesting the way verse 19 reads. It is as if the well was there all along, but the sadness of her situation had paralyzed her and kept her from seeing the deliverance that was in front of her. But mercy from a God who hears us lived with her and the boy, despite the fact that they lived out their lives in the desert. I wonder if it is a coincidence that the Israelites would wander in the desert for 40 years.
Questions for Reflection:
Have you ever fled from a situation (either physically or emotionally), only to feel led back to the same situation?
Have you stopped to wonder where you have come from and where you are going?
When do questions (real ones, not rhetorical) benefit your interactions with others?
Have you ever felt comforted when someone empathized with your misery? Have you ever felt frustrated if they tried to minimize it or brush it away?
Have you ever had an Ishmael moment with God- where you know God Sees Me! God Hears Me!
What would you say to those who use this story to tell women to stay in abusive situations?
Have you ever been blessed in the midst of an unfair situation?
Have your eyes ever been opened to see God’s provision right in front of you?
I would love to hear your discussion to any of these.
Personal Application:
I will seek to understand, first. I will ask questions, and try to identify with the pain of others. I will try not to push the person or explain the situation away because it makes me uncomfortable.
I will run to God. Usually I don’t feel like running away, at least not with those I know and love. I usually stay and fight- turning into a “wild donkey of a man”. I don’t think running or fighting is God’s perfect plan. I think running to God and letting him fight for me is his better plan. When I feel anger coming out toward my children or husband (whether justified or not) I will try to pray first before I engage in the discussion. That is my goal for the next tense discussion in the Tate household!!!!
P.S. Didn’t mean to write a book…
P.P.S. I based my response off of the Priscilla Shirer 5 P method (pray, paraphrase/ pull out spiritual principles, pose a question, plan a step of obedience, pinpoint a date)
