The Idolatry of Perfection and God's Antedote of Justice and Grace

That's a funny title isn't it!

First of all, I want to invite everyone to listen online to one of my new favorite groups.  Click on the song Jer. 33:3.
http://www.seedsfamilyworship.net/listen-online/

Now, down to business...

Several topics surfaced from my reading, but I only had time and space to discuss the first!  I found it interesting that God has proclaimed the warning of disaster, as well as his promise of restoration- all before the climactic consequence- the fall and destruction of Jerusalem.  As a parent and teacher, I now try to follow this same pattern. 
1.  Warning
2.  Promise of Restoration
3.  Consequence

I used to buy into the “my class doesn’t act like that.”  “our family doesn’t do that” attitude.  I remember being so angry at a student in my drama class for cheating.  She couldn’t understand why I was so upset.  I just couldn’t believe she would do that to me!  I realize now, some of these attitudes came from pride.  I didn’t want to look badly.  I couldn’t handle other people’s imperfections if they reflected on me.  I was buying into the illusion of perfection.  If my class, my kid, my whatever… looks perfect, then I am a success.  Wow is that exhausting. 

After reading Love and Logic and listening to Chip Ingram, I began to realize that my reactions were selfish.  I wasn’t disciplining for their good- it was for mine.  Maybe it didn’t change a lot outward, but I began making small changes that reflected my inner acceptance- that I was an imperfect mother/ teacher of imperfect students and children.  Now God could really use me, once I started to get over me.    
Of course God REALLY brought the lesson home in time for my third child.  His opinions are just louder and longer than my other two.  I am so thankful that I am not as enslaved to other people’s perceptions of me, or he would be a severe emotional challenge for me, and we would have some unhealthy battles instead of the battles God wants me to fight.    

Ethan had a kindergarten teacher who said she would make sure and give him a behavior mark by the end of the year so he could practice handling the fact that he wasn’t perfect.  She said she had seen how devastated some kids are the first time they got into trouble as an older student.  I have seen children and parents fall apart because of an 89.  I experienced the pain of not getting an “A” on a paper in 6^th grade.  After that first shock, I was a little better adjusted. 

I wouldn’t have thought about the need for my children to realize that he/she is not perfect, and that I don’t even expect them to be.  So when Kiera went to kindergarten this year, I told her- I want you to do your best.  She drew that her kindergarten goal is to “stay on target”, which means she wants to maintain perfect behavior.  I am glad that I have two older children who want to follow the rules.  But I told Kiera, remember, you are not perfect.  If you make a mistake, we will forgive you.  We can pray for God to help you make better choices.  Even if you never have to pull a color, remember, you sin, and your Mom and Dad still love you and God can forgive you.  I don’t want other people’s evaluations of her conduct to rule her life.  Only God’s opinion ultimately matters.    

My mom told me about how as a child she thought her parents were perfect, and so it was hard to tell them about problems.  Mom, you did a good job not trying to cover up areas you thought needed improvement.  I never felt pressure to live up to your expectations.  I was free to make a lot of my own mistakes, but later to discover without hindrance what God would have me be and do.   I want to give that to my children by following God’s example. 

Now, I explain to my class:  “These are the rules of my class.  When you break them- because you will make mistakes, these are the consequences.  Everyone breaks the rules.  I try, but I cannot keep them perfectly.  When you break one, I am not going to be angry with you forever, so don’t ‘freak out’”.  Then I have them practice my restoration policy.  When a student breaks a rule, they get a warning, then they have to explain the rule and apologize in a written note.  I am giving them an opportunity to rehearse that step toward restoration.  They choose the rule they are most likely to break and then pretend they are writing the letter of reconciliation.    

Now, you are probably wondering what this all has to do with the verse.  I find it amazing that God tells his people:  You are not obeying me.  You are going to be punished.  I will heal and restore you. 

God has been showing me this lesson over the years, but I didn’t know that it came first from his word.  God is a grace-based parent who knows we will fail.  He promises that we will experience consequences of our actions, but he also promises us grace.    Hallelujah.

Jeremiah 32:37-41

“I will bring them back to this place and let them live in safety. ³⁸ They will be my people, and I will be their God. ³⁹ I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me and that all will then go well for them and for their children after them. ⁴⁰ I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. ⁴¹ I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.”