The post I didn't want to write

I loved reading about Gideon and Deborah.  Then I choked down the rest of Judges, trying to hurry past to the comfort of Ruth.

The horrors of Judges just wouldn't let me go, however.  Why did God include this and not comment?! I complained.  I saw a friend Wednesday morning. 

Friend:  How are you.
Me:  Depressed.
Friend: Why?
Me:  I am reading Judges.

I was being kind of silly, but truthfully I had been crying in the car just moments earlier- with two kids in the back on my way to work.  The words of chapter 19 returned to me that morning- and all I could do was weep.  My children sweetly asked what was wrong.  I told them that I was sad because a woman was hurt in the story I was reading in the bible and no one saved her.  Levi, my little 3 year old, said, "God should have saved her!"  I had nothing to say.  Throughout the day, these are the thoughts that came to me.  I believe the Holy Spirit began a dialogue that I was hungry to hear.

First, I read "How to Read the Bible for all it's Worth" by Fee and Stuart.  The chapter on how to read biblical narratives (which comprise 40% of the Old Testament) was enlightening.  According to the authors, the overall theme is God's story of redemption- and he is the hero in every narrative.  That being said, they caution the reader from trying to find a moral for each discrete narrative.  They must be viewed as a whole.  Answering my question about why God does not always comment (This was evil in the eyes of the Lord) the authors argue that the reader or listener is not re-quoted the law because it is assumed the reader understands evil and sin as previously defined by the law.

I thought- Wow- that is a lot like my life.  I want God to editorialize my life as well- every time I am unhappy or suffering, I want to know, why is this happening?  I have to look over time to see God's provision and care and his overall theme of redemption.

I still don't want to look at evil.  I don't want to read and imagine the torture that concubine endured.  I grow furious with her callous, cruel and cowardly "husband".  It breaks my heart to read that her hands were on the threshold when she died- yearning for a safety that was out of reach.

Why, Lord? Aren't you close to the broken hearted?

I don't think the answer is pretty.  The tribes of Israel were turning their back on God and giving themselves over to evil practices.  I believe God stepped back and let them live out the consequences of their sins.  And what was the result?  The tribes killed each other.  "The wages of sin are death."

While we are not to dwell on evil acts, God recorded them.  I think it horrific that the narrative exists.  But perhaps God in his sovereignty knew the real tragedy would be in ignoring that woman's suffering.  Do I really want all memory of her erased?  She is the voice of one calling out in the wilderness, "Prepare a way for the Lord."

Her life cries out for justice.  Her life cries out for a Savior.  And I will not silence her.

Her story is not complete without Jesus, and neither is mine.  Some days I think, Oh, if Jesus doesn't come back today, I'll be okay.  I want to see my kids grow up.  I want to see them married.  I want to see my grandchildren.  I have plans, God.  Sometimes I am blind to the suffering of the world- which means I am blind to the need for a Savior.  But some days, God shows me- maybe through death, or a tragic news story, or even Judges 19- God shows me the need for Him is still real.          

I learn from scripture:

Our God walks in the cool of the day, wanting us to walk with him. 
The blood of the innocent cries out from the ground- and he demands justice.
As payment, Jesus willingly gave his innocent blood to give himself as a ransom for many.  Unlike the cowardly husband, he sacrificed himself.  He is our bridegroom who lays his life down for us. 

Many other examples came to mind.  But one had special significance.  The day I read through Judges, I had read through the story of the woman who had bled for 12 years.  I had to prepare to share that story with the Boys and Girls Club.  Jesus' words echoed in my mind, "Daughter, be freed from your suffering."  Interestingly, he says this after her body had already been healed.  Earlier it mentioned that her body was freed from it's suffering.  I believe he was speaking of her total healing.  The physical part was healed.  She also had to heal mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I don't think it too much of a stretch to imagine Jesus welcoming that concubine into his arms with the words, "Daughter, be freed from your suffering."  Many cross the threshold from life to death and that passing is often marked by suffering.  My hope is in the One who takes the time to touch the leper and the blind.  He weeps with us.  He takes the time to turn around and speak to us, "Daughter, be free from your suffering."  He has rescued us from our sin and he will return one day to rescue us from this world.